Supervillain Rules
by setepenre-set
Summary: Roxanne manages to acquire one of Megamind's de-guns during a kidnapping.


Maybe it's a little weird that, the first time she ever manages to work her hands free during a kidnapping, Roxanne doesn't use the opportunity to escape, but, rather, simply grabs the spare de-gun that Megamind has on the lab table next to her hostage chair, and slips it into her purse.

(freedom or ray gun; it's actually an embarrassingly easy choice to make.)

(ray gun RAY GUN _RAY GUN **YES**_ )

(ahem)

She could, of course, try to use the ray gun to escape, but, although Megamind's back is turned and she could probably manage to dehydrate him before he notices she's free, Minion is across the room, and she doesn't think she can hit both of them before one of them reacts to stop her.

(she is planning on keeping this gun, thank you very much; she's not about to risk getting it taken away from her so quickly.)

So she just puts the gun in her purse, puts her hands behind her back, and slips her wrists back into the ropes before Megamind turns again to face her, with a dramatic flourish of his cape that makes her simultaneously want to roll her eyes and want to pat him on his oversized blue head and tell him that he's cute.

(supervillains are not supposed to be adorable; the fact that Megamind is anyway is really just-unfair)

but.

anyway.

 _((MOVING ON FROM ROXANNE'S WEIRD ATTRACTION TO AN ALIEN SUPERVILLAIN))_

 **RAY GUN.**

 _YES._

The rest of the kidnapping goes pretty normally (hahahaHA when did kidnappings become normal; why is her life like this?): Metro Man shows up, they fight, Megamind and Minion escape, and then Roxanne goes home.

With her beautiful new toy still safely hidden in her purse.

* * *

And it _is_ beautiful, she thinks, when, in the privacy of her own apartment, she opens up her purse and takes out her new acquisition. Megamind's de-guns are his most attractive inventions.

This one has a glorious heft to it; not too heavy, not too light, and it fits comfortably in her hand.

The filigree on it is slightly raised, delicate and graceful swirls and curves that make her shiver pleasurably when she strokes over them with her fingertips.

She spins the piece that changes the setting; it turns easily, with a delightful noise.

Roxanne finds that she's grinning, without meaning to. She feels so-so wonderfully wicked, holding this gun, Megamind's gun, the one that she stole from him.

She pictures his face, if he could see her right now, and a thrill goes down her spine.

(Ohhhh, she absolutely has to shoot something, right now, right this instant.)

* * *

She plays around with the stolen de-gun every night that week, testing out the different settings.

(She gets an extra kick out of the decoupage setting)

(decoupage; god, he's such a dork)

It's-an odd coincidence, maybe, but not that odd, considering how much time she spends with the gun-that she actually has the gun in her hand the next time Minion comes to kidnap her.

She's got the gun set to dehydrate; she's practicing her aim, shooting cans lined up on her kitchen counter; she spins when she hears the unexpected noise behind her, hand jerking the gun up and finger squeezing the trigger automatically.

Roxanne sees the surprised look on Minion's face for just a single split second before he turns into a little glowing blue cube.

* * *

That's-

um.

* * *

 _(aaaaaahhhhh)_

(what is she supposed to do now?)

* * *

Okay, so options:

(the idea of turning Minion over to the authorities she dismisses immediately. Megamind always makes sure Minion gets away; it's a greater priority for him than his own freedom or safety. She asked Minion about it once, and Minion just said that Sir 'worries about him'. And. Turning Minion in feels...wrong. Mean. To Minion and to Megamind.)

All right, she can just rehydrate Minion, apologize for shooting him...let him kidnap her...and take away her de-gun-

No, she doesn't like that plan; she is attached to this gun; she doesn't want to give it up.

Okay then, she can...give Minion back to Megamind? Somehow?

(it's not like she has his phone number; she doesn't actually know how to get into contact with him without him just...coming to get her.)

...does she maybe just wait for him to come and get her, then? He'll probably come looking for Minion, right? When Minion doesn't show up at the Lair with her?

Megamind will definitely want to take the de-gun back, too, but-yes, maybe she can bluff her way out of this, bargain for the return of Minion in exchange for her getting to keep the de-gun.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah, she can do this.

* * *

Megamind actually _knocks_ on her apartment door, then rings the doorbell, multiple times, calling her name from the hallway, and Roxanne feels a little guilty at how frantic he sounds.

(he really does worry about Minion, doesn't he?)

"Miss-Miss Ritchi? I'm aware that this is a little unorthodox, but I-this isn't a kidnapping; I'm-please, Miss Ritchi, I-I need your help-"

Roxanne leaves the chain on but opens the door the few inches the chain allow; Megamind squashes his face into the opening-sharp chin, the tip of his nose, blue lips puckered by the way he's trapped between the door and the wall.

"Minion's missing," he says, without preamble. "Miss Ritchi-please, have you seen him; he was meant to be- _ah_ -passing by your apartment, but he hasn't returned and-"

"I have him."

Megamind takes a sharp breath of relief.

"You-" he frowns, looking confused. "You have-?"

"I kind of stole one of your de-guns and dehydrated him on accident," Roxanne says in a rush. "Um. Sorry. About dehydrating Minion. Not about stealing the gun. I'm not actually sorry about stealing the gun."

"...you dehydrated Minion?" Megamind asks, the single green eye she can see wide.

"I told you, it was an accident! And-and he was coming to kidnap me; why am I the one apologizing? Agh-"

She shifts her weight, pulling Minion's blue cube out of her pocket, holding it up so Megamind can see it.

"-here, have him back" she says, feeling too guilty to actually try to use Minion as a bargaining chip.

Megamind takes the cube.

"...er...may I have my gun back, please?" he asks.

"Wh-no!" Roxanne says. "Do you have any idea how many times you've kidnapped me? I deserve one ray gun, at least, as compensation! Besides..." she flails for a moment for a convincing argument. "Besides! I-I stole it! Fair and square! So it's mine now; that's how it works!"

"-that's-wh-that is not how it works!"

"Yes, it is; supervillain rules! You want it; you steal it; it's yours!"

There's a silence on the other side of the door.

"...I don't-I-why do you even want the gun, though?" Megamind demands.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe to _defend myself against potential kidnappers?_ Also I just _like_ it, okay; I don't know!"

There's another silence.

"You...you like it?" Megamind asks, voice uncertain and oddly...

(hopeful?)

"...yeah," Roxanne says after a long moment of clutching the door handle. "Yeah, I do. It's-I don't know. It's cool."

Megamind is quiet for a moment.

"Really?" he says, excitement in his voice, "You-you think it's-do you want-I'll make you a better one!"

Roxanne looks hard at him-but oddly enough, what she can see of his expression through the crack in the door looks entirely earnest and eager.

"A. Better one..." she repeats slowly in disbelief.

"Better, yes! One that fits your hand measurements-different color scheme-that one's just an _extra_ ; let me make one for _you_ -"

"Is this just a trick to get me to give up the gun I have?" Roxanne asks suspiciously, leaning against the door.

"No, no! Not a trick! Pinky-promise, not a trick!"

He actually sticks his hand through the gap in the door, pinky extended.

(Oh no. Oh no; why is he so adorable? Why is the universe doing this to Roxanne?)

"Fine," she says, linking her pinky with his (he's surprised, she thinks; his hand jerks when she curves her finger around his), "but you better not break the pinky-promise or I'm telling Minion."

"I-I would never!" Megamind says, sounding appalled.

(Roxanne has to lean her forehead against the door for a second and attempt to get herself under control. Stop blushing, Roxanne; you are ridiculous. He's not that cute.)

(she's lying. he is. he totally is.)

"...okay," she says, resigned to the fact that she's probably going to regret this, but that she's definitely doing it anyway. "Step back for a second and let me unlatch the door."

* * *

"...you know, I really don't get why you're doing this," she says, later, in the Lair, after Megamind has measured her hand and showed her color samples and drawn blueprints for her gun.

She's standing beside him, watching him work. Megamind, assembling the power cell for the gun, looks over at her, eyes wide and guileless and green.

"I pinky-promised," he says.

(there's a smudge of ink on his left cheekbone)

Roxanne forces herself to look away from him. She hops up on the lab table and looks down at the partially assembled gun instead.

"I mean, yeah," she says, "I get that, but I don't-I don't get why you promised in the first place. Making the damsel a gun...doesn't that kind of go against the whole supervillain code? I mean, I told you I was going to use it against you, Megamind."

(looking down at the gun he's working on was a mistake, Roxanne realizes. He took off his gloves when he started the assembly, and now she's staring at his hands, at his long graceful blue fingers.)

"Well, you-you already had a gun!" Megamind says. "I just-I'm just making sure you're not-using second-rate equipment!"

She looks up at him, but he's the one avoiding her eyes, now, face turned awkwardly away, his mouth set in an uncomfortable line.

"Oh please, like anything you make is ever second-rate," Roxanne says, without really meaning to.

She tries to play it off with a laugh, stomach twisting. (stupid, stupid)

"Admit it, Megamind; you're just bored and looking for a reason to tinker-"

"I just want you to have nice things."

Roxanne stops, lips parting, and stares at him.

"I want to give you nice things," Megamind says, words coming too fast, still not looking at her, "-to-I want-to make you nice things."

Roxanne takes a sharp breath, eyes going wide.

A long silence stretches between the two of them.

(he wants-?)

Megamind looks miserable now, looks like he wants to swallow his own tongue, his jaw clenched, his hands clutching the pieces of the gun, his knuckles white, his eyes still avoiding hers.

(if he looks this upset about saying that-he must-he must have meant it; it must mean something to him; she must mean something-)

"Why?" Roxanne whispers, her heart beating too hard against her sternum.

Megamind swallows, the muscles of his long throat working. He closes his eyes briefly, then opens them, looks down again at his own hands.

"Because I like you, Roxanne," he says, voice small, like he's admitting to something horrible. "I like you-really-really a lot. I'm-I'm sorry."

He blinks, dark lashes sweeping downwards and Roxanne reaches out and touches his chin, turning his face towards hers.

Megamind lets her do it, meeting her gaze at last, his eyes round and with a sheen that looks like he's holding back tears.

(sorry; he said that he's sorry. Roxanne is happier than she's been in years and he thinks he needs to apologize)

She tips his chin up and leans down to kiss him, gentle and soft.

His eyes stay closed when she pulls away.

"Don't be sorry," she murmurs. "Supervillain rules, remember?

"I—"

His eyes flutter open.

Roxanne rubs her thumb over the ink mark on his cheekbone and he looks up at her like she's something made of starlight.

"You stole me, Megamind," she says, "I'm yours, now."

His lips part and she bends her head to kiss him again.

* * *

"-but I _didn't_ even steal you this time!" Megamind protests, much later on, when her de-gun is finished, when they've rehydrated Minion, when he's tactfully retreated to another part of the Lair and Megamind is sitting in his leather chair and Roxanne is sitting sideways in his lap, her legs draped comfortably over the arm of the chair.

"Hmm? What are you talking about?" Roxanne says, only half listening, most of her attention occupied with playing with the fingers of the hand he has in her lap, lacing their fingers together, stroking his skin.

"The supervillain rules," Megamind says, his other arm curling a little tighter around her waist, shifting her closer to him. "You said you were mine because I stole you, but I didn't steal you this time; you got in the invisible car without me tying you up or anything so-"

Roxanne laughs and kisses him, and she feels him smile against her lips.


End file.
